


Letters to the Dead

by ShadowclanMC



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Post-Dragon Age: Origins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28915167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowclanMC/pseuds/ShadowclanMC
Summary: Cyrion Tabris tells his new daughter in law, Valentina Cousland, to write letters to the love one she lost. He tells her it can help process their death and even bring some kind of closure. Valentina isn't so sure but she gives it shot.Read the letters that Valentina wrote; read all of her thoughts and regrets.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Letters to the Dead

**1st of Harvestmere, 9:31 Dragon**

_Dad,_

_I know this is strange but Chione's dad suggested I do this because it may help process everything. I guess you don't know who Chione is, Chione is mine and Alistair's partner. Did you know about Alistair, or was that something Maric only told Loghain? I guess I should start from the beginning- or your end. I survived. Your sacrifice wasn't in vain. I became a Grey Warden, met Chione Tabris and Alistair Theririn- then became the last three Grey Wardens in Ferelden after Loghain retreated out of the war. Dad, I ended up killing both Rendon and Loghain. I know war isn't fair but I killed Loghain and then took his title. Yes, I became a Hero of Ferelden with Chione as we stopped the blight with Alistair. I also ended up becoming Queen with Alistair as king. Anora, she only excepted Alistair on the throne if she knew I was his queen. It suprised me- though you wouldn't know why. I guess I can use this to tell you secrets I've kept from you._ _Me and Anora use to date before she and Cailan became king and queen. Nathaniel and I never dated, we just agreed when you asked, to keep Anora and Cailan's wish. Look, I don't know if it was actually you in the Gantlet that gave me the amulet or if it was just a trick to give me more strength. But there was something that stuck with me, you said you were proud of me and that I needed to move on. Do you actually feel that way? Does mom feel that way? I can't stop thinking about it and it was the one thing that got me through to beating the arch demon. I miss you. I wish you could if been the one to walk me down the ilse to Alistair instead of Fergus- marker Fergus. He is doing great at being a Teyrn, yet he is stricken with grief and only ever smiles when he is around Oren- he doesn't joke anymore, or tease. He just talks. Maybe he should this too, I don't know. I heard him talking with Oriana when he thought he was alone when I visited Highever recently. I sometimes think maybe I should of worked quicker to get to Oren and Oriana- maybe then Oren would still have his mother. But does that mean I could of saved you and mom too? I guess this means I really was your Mabari Pup. I actually miss mama's lectures and you guys being open about how in love you are- I miss mom getting "annoyed" when Vilkas messes up the floors when we'd have guests. I miss yours and mama's light hearted laugh whenever another noble would try to set me up with their son. I just want to have my family back- have my family back and be with my loves._

_Respectfully, Valentina ~~Cousland~~ Theririn_

**7th of Harvestmere, 9:31 Dragon**

_Mom,_

_This took forever to write, I think it's because you didn't need to die. You didn't have to stay with papa. We would if made it- you could of been with Oren in Radcliffe. You could of helped the village with Bann Teagan. Yet that would of ment you leaving papa to die. Is that selfish of me to wish you didn't. I'm sure it brought great comfort to papa, I just hope it was painless. Yet knowing how Rendon changed, I doubt it was. Maybe a happier wish is to see you watch me finally get married. Maybe you did watch- where you are. I find myself struggling to belive in the maker after everything that has happened. After surviving the betrayal of Howe, the Grey Warden joining, and the blight, I can't seem to see if it was worth it. I am married to the people I love but we can't produce children- or it's rather implausible with the fact we all are tainted with the blight. Just as Darkspawn are- you see, the reason Grey Wardens are so talented at killing darkspawn is because they accept the blight into themselves. So they can sense the darkspawn, but that also means the darkspawn can sense them. And that sixth sense comes at a price if being vitually infertile- if not completely infertile. I wish you were here so I could just pour everything out to you that I could. So you can hold me and tell me I'm crazy for thinking this way. Even though I know I'm not crazy- but it would make me feel better. I also wish you could be there to help me try and help Fergus through his grief. I really need you mama- but your not here. The last time I was in Highever I visited the graves Fergus put in for you, papa, and Oriana. I couldn't make myself leave until the sun was almost down and Chione came and pulled me away. I don't remember if I talked to you, but I remember crying. I haven't done a lot of crying sense then, but nightmares keep me awake. I see you with your drawn bow and papa leaned up against the wall as I was pulled away by Marcus. I hear the clamor and nothing I do can change that. Fergus said you'd both be proud- but I can't bring myself to believe that when more could of been done. I have 30 years before I start to lose my sanity, hopefully something else kills me before then._

~~_Respectfully, Valentina Theririn_ ~~ _Your Mabari Pup, Valentina Theririn_

**9th of Harvestmere, 9:31 Dragon**

_Oriana,_

_I know we were never close before you passed, and I regret that. I regret not ever knowing you you were fully. I regret not being able to tell Oren about you because Fergus is too grief stricken to really even talk to you. He stares at the family portrait often. Talks to you when he thinks no one is there. It's like he's a shell, and it's my fault. I know it is. I know he feels that way too. If I was only quicker, if I could of fought through the guards faster- maybe you would be here. I wonder if you feel the same way. I wonder if you resent me. A friend I made during the blight told me to accept my failings but to not let them givern my life. How can I accept the fact the reason you aren't here us because I failed to be quicker. Maybe I should look at the positives. I saved Oren and he has a bright future ahead. Yet everytime I see him I can't help but feel like I failed him and Fergus. Some Teryna I was that night. Maker knows what you thought before you died. I can't hope that you weren't cursing your fate._

_Your Sister, Valentina Theririn_

**11th of Harvestmere, 9:31 Dragon**

_Cailan,_

_How is it being at the Markers side? With your mom, my parents, and Loghain- we drifted apart after you an Anora became king and queen, but when we met at Ostegar once again I could see the boy who pushed me countless times into the mud was still there. The boy who taught me to always have fun and look on the bright side. I wish we had seen each other before then so you didn't have to have a last image of me being numb refusing to believe that Rendon Howe actually betrayed us. Funny isn't. I bet you didn't even think your death was caused by Loghain calling a retreat. I think I'm the only one who can't fully comprehend Loghain doing what he did. He basically raised you with Maric. I looked up to him- do you remember when I basically declared I would become a Hero if Ferelden too? Well I did. With my love Chione. I struck down Loghain then took his title. It's bitter. Maybe I shouldn't of declared it. I married your half brother Alistair. You know I'm rather ticked that you didn't tell me about him. I know you knew about him. Maybe my mom wouldn't of tried so hard to get us together if you did. I really do miss you._

_Your Half Sister in Law, Valentina_

**13th of Harvestmere, 9:31 Dragon**

_Loghain,_

Your death has kept me up at night. Maybe I should of let Chione or Alistair be the one to give that final blow, yet somehow I think that would of been worse. You accepted your death just as my parents accepted theirs. I think that's what keeps me awake. You knew your decision killed those men and Cailan. So you didn't fight back after you lost. You didn't let Anora debate to keep you alive. Unlike Rendon, you still cared for the women you knew when I was in diapers. You seemed at oeice when you saw me hold that sword. Enough to close your eyes. Some how I know you that you ment your were proud when you gave me those parting words. Maybe that's because I saw how hardened you became after I told you how my parents died. Maybe that's why I need to write this letter. How could you work with Howe. After I told you what he did to Bryce and Eleanor. I know you have some bullshit excuse about how it was for the betterment of Ferelden. That's the one thing I can't understand. Maybe I just wish you were alive so I can scream and yell at you for working with Howe- after you knew about what he did. Dad use to talk about how proud he was that I wanted to be a hero like you. I wonder if he still would of been proud if he knew this is what you'd do. I hate that I can't hate you for what you've done. I hate that I miss you being alive.

_With respect, Valentina Theririn_


End file.
